Super Autism Mum

I was the only person who wasn’t worried about the first day back at school. I knew he would jump on the bus no bother and be totally fine – and he was!

I got his uniform on and we went outside for him to have a run about. When the bus arrived he had a huge smile on his face. When he saw his friend on the bus he was so excited. I think it’s safe to say he really missed school!

I got lots of messages from daddy, my parents and my sister making sure he was ok. Everyone was really nervous. Except me. I knew he would be fine 😍

It was our Godson’s birthday yesterday, so we were delivering his present today. This is the son of my friends who have 2 other girls that our son loves to play with.

I said we were going but got a very stubborn “no way!’ I should have just went to the car with him!

I wrapped up the present and put it beside the door, but when he saw it he started getting very anxious saying he didn’t like the birthday. I just said ok, and said no more.

We went to McDonald’s for lunch then got in the car and started to drive the opposite way from our house. As soon as we turned the corner he knew we weren’t going home and kept saying no way and I just said it’s ok.

It’s a 20 minute drive to our friends house. Every couple of minutes he would say no way again and I just said it’s ok. I knew when we got there that I would need to leave him in the car with daddy and I would run in and drop off the present. I could tell from how anxious he was that this was going to happen. Hey ho, that’s just how it’s going to be sometimes and we need to go with it.

Imagine my shock when we got to our friends and he jumped out the car and straight over and into their house!! He is normally a bit slow going in, he stays outside for a few minutes just taking it all in before going in, and today, when I thought he wasn’t going to go in at all, he was the best he has ever been!

No fuss was made and it worked again. We are really becoming masters of this lol!

At one point I was sitting on the sofa with my friend and her daughter watching the trailer of the new Winnie the Pooh movie on the iPad, and he came over, rested his chin on my shoulder and watched it with us. It was such a lovely moment I could have cried!

His speech was great today, which our friends commented on, and he was great playing with the other kids.

So proud of him today!

Our son has not shown interest in much, except the iPad! We try to get him to play with some toys, but we have yet to find something he loves – any suggestions welcome as it’s a struggle come birthdays and Christmas! When we go out shopping and to toy shops, we are always asking if he wants anything but he never does.

One thing he does love are books, in particular busy books that come with a set of characters and a map. He isn’t really interested in the maps but loves the characters and matching them to the pages in the book. He used to look at these non stop about a year ago, then lost interest, but he is back to loving them again. So much so that he carries the Cars 3 one about with him everywhere!

We went to Asda at the weekend and as we walked past the books he picked up the Trolls and Paw Patrol busy books and put them in the trolly. I asked him if he wanted them?! He said yes. So I told him that we will use his pocket money that his auntie gave him to pay for them, so he was happy. My dad’s cousin who is 97 and we call auntie, gives him pocket money when she sees him and he never spends it and I end up putting it in his bank, so I wanted him to learn that this is what he can do with his pocket money.

To be honest, it amused me so much the way he just picked the books up and put them in the trolly that he could have had anything he wanted!

He done it again in Tesco. He got mini Stretch Armstrong for his birthday, and in Tesco he saw mini stretch Superman. He picked him up and put him in the trolly. I told him he could buy him with his birthday money, and he said yes.

He has never asked for anything so I am loving that he is showing an interest in things. But if he keeps doing it, I am going to end up skint!!

Glasgow Club run activities during school holidays and I noticed they were running disability activities, including one on one swimming lessons. They ran for one week blocks, 30 minutes a day. I booked our son in for the 1.30 – 2pm slot.

My parents took him and he loved every second. I knew there would be no issues with it as he loves the water. The only issue would be getting him out!

When my dad took him to the pool and said his name, the instructors said they knew him as he had been going to swimming lessons with the school, even better!

This is something I want him to do regularly, but there is a waiting list for the one on one lessons. I have completed the form and he is on the list, no idea when it will be his turn!

I was talking to my friend in the office in work today, one of the few who know about my son’s diagnosis. We were talking about the Paddy McGuiness show yesterday, and she downloaded it last night and watched it. She said she was so emotional watching it thinking of me.

The bit that got her was when Paddy was asked what a bad day was like. He struggled to put into words what it was like and struggled to talk at all with the emotion of thinking about it.

My friend asked me what a bad day is like for us. We are lucky so far, that meltdowns are over quickly. He just needs a squeeze and a few calming words then silence to calm down.

It’s hard when our son refuses to go somewhere or do something, he is so adamant in his ‘no’ but we are hoping as gets older, and his understanding improves, he will realise we won’t take him anywhere he won’t like.

The only tough time we have had was on the Disney Cruise. I will do a Holiday Page and put info on holidays in there.

There are going to be tough times until we learn how to deal with them. Someone said recently, he needs to let us into his world not him into our world.

Autism is a massive learning curve, and what works now may not work a year from now. What works for us, may not work for anyone else. That’s the frustrating thing about autism. It is so unique to the individual that you can only get so much help and advise which will need tailored to the individual.

We have been told at courses to use visuals. This works for school, but not at home. Though it did work recently. We were in Center Parc heading to Alton Towers but he didn’t want to leave Center Parc and was getting so upset. I showed him a photo of the swimming pool at Alton Towers Splash Landings that we were going to, and he was in the car two seconds later!

Preparation is key, explain what is about to happen. This doesn’t work for us at all. Thanks to my dad’s friend showing him no attention, we have realised that no fuss is key for us. Preparation causes him too much stress and anxiety. We just keep him close and make sure he feels safe.

The comedian has come out to say his twins – a boy and girl age 6 – have autism, and his younger daughter is showing signs though too young to be diagnosed. I struggle with one child, I can’t imagine having three who, as we all know this about autism, will have different traits, each child will be different in their siblings.

Him and his wife are being very vocal about it to raise awareness, appearing on chat shows and magazines. They even hosted a ball to raise funds to Autism UK. I think they are AMAZING!!!

Recently Paddy was interviewed about his life. I recorded it knowing he would talk about his kids, and knowing I needed to be in the right frame of mind to watch it. It took me a week!

It was good for my husband to hear another man talk about his Autistic kids. It really felt like he was telling our life story as he was talking. Points he raised included:

• His wife copes better
• He wants normality
• Jealous or other parents being able to do normal mundane things
• How hard the meltdowns are

It was very emotional to watch. I had such an overwhelmingly strong feeling of wanting to write to him. I googled his agent’s name and emailed her. She said to send the letter to her and she would forward on, which I have done. I don’t expect a reply, but needed him to know how much he has helped us and that he is not alone.

I followed his Twitter feed after the programme aired and the comments he received were so supportive. Someone wrote ‘It gets easier. It’s never easy, but it gets easier’ and I can see that already. This time a year ago we were struggling alot more than we are now.

My favourite quote was – these are the cards we have been dealt, so let’s play! I love this!

Today was a very busy day! It wasn’t meant to be. I had planned a me and my boy day as it was my last day off before his return to school. But it never worked out that way!

One thing that needed done today was school shoes. I needed to get them today. We went to the small Clarks within Mothercare beside us. I was just going to try shoes on as he has never let anyone measure his feet – until today! The woman brought over the measuring gauge and he didn’t even flinch. No bother at all! He is a size 2.5 – he is only 6!!!!!

They didn’t have the shoes I wanted in his size so I will order online tonight. At least then I can go through topcashback and get a bit of cashback on them. His shoes are more expensive than mine!!

He was great with everywhere we needed to go today:

• Braehead to collect a Disney Store order – he went on the trampolines and of course got a cookie
• Post Office to collect a parcel
• Lunch which he didn’t eat, but that could be due to the cookies!
• Local hospice to hand in scones my mum made – my dad volunteers there
• B&Q to pick up lights for the hall and a canvas I liked while my dad still gets 10% pensioner discount – it’s stopping soon
• Morrisons for a top up shop

Phew!

He is 6! How did that happen??!!

On his birthday we went out for dinner with my mum and sister too, my dad wasn’t well. We were there first and my mum and sister know not to make a fuss so when they arrived, they just wandered over and sat down. Perfect!

The next day we had a party for him, just family and our friends. No school friends as we are not at that stage yet.

I arranged a bouncy castle. We had one last year and the kids loved it, so I done the same again. I was telling him who was coming, but he just kept telling me ‘I don’t like……’ whatever I was saying. So I stopped.

I was putting suncream on him outside when he starting smiling. I turned around and my friends two girls were walking out. They all jumped on the bouncy castle and had a ball.

We had 7 kids on the bouncy castle having the best time! They were having so much fun that I forgot all about the party games I had planned. I had spent the previous night wrapping and wrapping gifts for pass the parcel!!

At a recent autism course I met a mum who asked to keep in touch with me as the path our son has taken is exactly the path she wants for her son, who is a year younger.

We kept in touch and met a few times for coffee and chats. It felt like we were a good support for each other.

She found out that her son got into the same language unit as our son, so was delighted! We arranged a playdate for the 2 boys during the summer holidays so they would know each others face on the first day of school as they were going to be in the same class, primary 1/2

I mentioned to my son in the morning that mummy’s friend was coming over with her little boy, but he said no way! His new thing is ‘I don’t like…..’ which just means he doesn’t want to talk about it or do it, so he said ‘I don’t like mummy’s friend’ so I just dropped the subject.

When the doorbell went, I said to my son to go out in the garden and play, but he was too nosey (takes after his mum!) He kept back and I said to my friend not to look at him or say anything and let him come to her. It worked!! Her little boy came in and just started playing and my son wandered over to him.

2.5 hours later they were still playing!!

Going from past experience of playdates, I expected and hour at the most.

This was an overwhelming success!!!

We found out we got the funds for Center Parcs that we applied for. We are delighted! I didn’t think we would, as the funds we applied for were means tested. Although we are on ok salaries, we have alot of outgoings.

To apply we had to give a breakdown of our monthly income and expenditure. I got great advice from the carers centre on putting everything on the application including haircuts, Christmas and birthday present spend, insurances, road tax, work lunch, weekend take away etc.

The maximum allocation is £300 and we have been allocated £280 which is a massive help for us.

I will put the information on the benefits page.