Super Autism Mum

Everyone was worried when he started primary 3. Would he be ok going in the bus? Would he be ok in the new class? Would he cry for mummy? But I knew he would be fine.

He is now 7 and his uniform is aged 10-11 and his shoes are a size 3.5 – he is a big boy!

The bus arrived and the driver flashed his lights as he was coming towards us which made us smile. It was a different chaperone on the bus, but one that has been on the bus before and works in school so she wasn’t a stranger. As I knew he would, he jumped on the bus and didn’t look back!

The school messaged later to say he was settling really well and having a good day.

We are now a couple of months into primary 3 and time for the first review meeting. This goes over his objectives and encourages home to work on these along with school. Our main objective is focus. We need to get him to focus more on things. His attention span is very poor and he either is bored easy, or just can’t sit still. I can’t figure out which! We are also to work on building his sentences. If he says “want iPad” we are to say “I want to have the iPad please” to try and get him to expand his speech.

He has the same teachers this year as he did in primary one so they know him well. He has one teacher Monday and Tuesday and another Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. I asked if they saw a difference in him, and they said a MASSIVE difference ♥️ They said his speech is better, his focus is improving and he sits better doing tasks.

There are 6 in his class, 3 are more chatty which he is one which was great to hear as we have struggled with his speech for years. The teacher said they sit together chatting and showing each other things which is adorable.

They asked what he played with at home that they could incorporate at school. For a while now he has been playing with nesting toys and a wooden bear game and school ordered them for the class which was great. Here they are:

He actually has a marvel superhero nesting set, and I’ve bought him a star wars one, well, santa has! But school went for the animals. I would highly recommend them.

It’s been 3 years since we had the diagnosis. 3 years since our lives changed forever.

We were very shocked to get the diagnosis as our son wasn’t showing any typical autistic signs as far as we were concerned. If we were to go for assessment now, we would not be shocked. He has autism, there is no denying it.

He turned 7 a couple of months ago, and although his speech is improving, he still talks like a 3 year old.

He flaps alot more than he ever did. At the time of diagnosis, I don’t think I had even seen him flap!

His understanding is still very poor. He will answer yes no matter what we ask him; Did you paint at school today? Yes. Did you play on the scooter at playtime? Yes. Then I ask the teacher and he didn’t do either things!

The school use an app called Seesaw to communicate with us. They update it everyday with photos and messages about the day which is fantastic, and allows us to talk about what happened that day.

He is getting better at going into busy places. He was at a birthday party last week, and he went into the hall when there were people already there which is a big improvement.

It is definitely more obvious to others that he has autism. On the plus though, I am seeing more awareness when we are out. We still get stares but on the whole, people are generally ok.

To say the last 3 years have been a learning curve for us is an understatement! But we are in the best position now to handle it all. We are more aware of what we can and can’t do. We know when to push him and when not to. And most importantly, we have learned the signs of when he is ok and when he is not. But it’s taken 3 years of hard work and lots of tears to get here.

I’m still not able to talk about it, but I’m slowly coming off my anxiety medication and I’m feeling better able to cope with it all.

It’s a long road ahead, but we are getting there, and the journey is getting a bit more manageable.

So, that’s our son 7! We were lucky this year, his birthday fell on a Saturday so we were able to have his wee party on his actual birthday. This year we had a Lego party. I always like to have a theme, then match the decorations, cake, party bags, and his t-shirt to the theme. The Lego theme cost me a fortune!! But it was fun. I even made a Lego Emmett cut out:

Image from pinterest courtesy of http://www.lifewithfingerprints.com via @karapothier

The party was a success. We had the usual people there so no surprises. He even let us sing happy birthday, which he didn’t allow last year. After everyone sang, he said “thank you” ♥️

I had ordered a bouncy castle again, this year I ordered one with a small slide at the side. Unfortunately they didn’t have a Lego themed castle ☹️

There was a bit more noise than normal which made him a bit anxious, but he took the iPad and had a wee time out when it got too noisy. We would normally not have allowed that with people in, but we realise he needs it when everything gets a bit too much for him.

Now, how do I beat a Lego party next year?

We are fortunate that we have not had many meltdowns, I hope I’m not about to jinx that!

Last weekend my husband went on a day and night out, and I was really excited for mummy and son time. A few years ago, this would have scared me, but now I was looking forward to having some time just me and my boy.

I needed to go to Braehead to change shoes so decided we could then go to TGI Friday’s for dinner.

Of course I made the mistake of saying we were going to TGI’S so that’s all I got the full afternoon “I want TGI’s” over and over and no now and next or distraction was working.

I tried to change the shoes and he had a mini meltdown, not wanting to wait and shouting that he wanted the car and wanted TGI’S.

After this behaviour, he shouldn’t be getting a TGI’S treat but I have to remind myself that he can’t help behaving like this and at only 7, he hasn’t yet learned to deal with how the autism makes him feel and react. Plus, if I said we were not going to TGI’S he would have had a major meltdown!! I should have just gone to McDonald’s. Isn’t hindsight a wonderful thing?

We got to TGI’S and thankfully got a table straight away. It was only 4.30pm so we were lucky the dinner rush hadn’t started yet. As soon as we sat down he wanted his chicken. I asked where his chicken was, and he said “in the oven” but he kept saying it over and over getting louder and louder screaming at me and grabbing me and nothing I done or said could console him. He had a full blown major meltdown and when I tried to leave, it made him worse.

Everyone is now staring at us, which doesnt normally bother me too much, but after the afternoon I had with him, I was could feel the tears in my eyes and it was taking every bit of strength I had to stop them from flowing. I knew if they started, they wouldn’t stop!

His chicken arrived, and instantly he was fine. He sat down and started eating as if nothing had just happened. I am then left to try and recover from the whirlwind of the meltdown.

There was a young couple at the table next to us. Once his chicken arrived and he sat down, the girl started chatting to him asking him if he liked his chicken. She could see I needed to calm down. Of course the kindness she showed us made me worse and I could not stop the tears. There I am, in the middle of TGI’S in floods of tears unable to stop.

I explained to the girl that he had autism and she smiled and nodded. She then said to me that she had been watching me and said I was amazing and I really was handling the situation so well. More tears!!

We left the second he finished his chicken. I had just ordered a starter so I didn’t have much to eat. I just needed out if there.

On the way home I popped in to see my parents. The second I saw them I couldn’t stop the tears. I sat in their house and sobbed uncontrollably until I had no tears left. My dad had taken my son to the garden so he didn’t see me, but knew something was wrong. He came back into the living room and sat besude me and said “your ok mummy” and I gave him a big cuddle.

Some days it just catches up with me and I need to let it out. This was one of those days. We both had meltdowns this day.

A couple of years ago our son went through a phase when he repeated himself over and over. He would ask something or say something, we would answer, but he would then keep asking over and over. I thought he wasn’t understanding our answer, so each time he asked, I would answer in a slightly different way. It was torture as it happened all day every day, but it gradually eased.

I had been attending a course at the time, so asked about it and was advised to answer in the same way and only 4 times. After 4 times use distraction to change the subject – that didn’t work! We just had to deal with it until the phase passed.

It is happening again!

I have read into echolalia which is very common with autism where phrases and words are repeated, but I don’t think it is that as he stopped doing it for a couple of years.

It’s something I hope will pass again, but in the mean time I am becoming an expert distractor!

I had to go away with work for 11 days. I was excited when I was chosen to go, but the closer it got, the reality of leaving husband with son was starting to worry me.

School made us a countdown chart to mark off the days until I came home which was so lovely of them.

Our new night time routine involves me going upstairs and he lies on the sofa to chill for a bit. He then comes upstairs and pops into our room to see me before going into his bed.

When I was away, the first few nights he popped into our room and when I wasn’t there he got upset and cried 😥

I emailed home every day and all was ok. They stayed at my parents house for dinner most nights, so they were well looked after! We didn’t Facetime incase it upset him. He was at school every day so his routine was stable while I was away.

When I got home, he saw me at the window and had a HUGE smile! When I went in the house I didn’t make a fuss. He was very shy so I just left him to come to me. When he did, he sat beside me for lots of cuddle time.

I’m never going away for that long again.

Our son has been toilet trained for several years now, but we still use a pull up at night. Over the last year or so I would say that he is dry most nights, but we still have the fear of going commando! This is something me and daddy need to deal with and just go for it. We have been talking about it for a while, and it turned out the decision was made for us!

We were away to Center Parcs last weekend. When we got there and unpacked, I realised I forgot to pack pull ups! We went into the shop but they didn’t have anything big enough for him. So we went for it! Commando it is!

We made sure he didn’t drink anything too late and went to the toilet just before going to bed. And he woke up dry!!!! Night one was a success!!!!

The next couple of nights he woke up during the night and I took him to the toilet incase that’s why he was stirring. Back to bed then back to sleep and up in the morning dry 😁

Its now been a week and so far so good. I have bought extra sheets and mattress protectors just incase but we are going to keep going.

Every night before going to bed we talk to him about what to do if he needs the toilet.

I am so proud of him, and so proud of us for taking this next step – which we really should have done a year ago, but we got there in the end.

I have always loved my holidays. After I left school, I just wanted a job so I could get money and go on holiday. I always need to have something booked, it gets me through my life!

Holidays haven’t stopped since having our son, but the recent years have been either UK holidays or shorter flights.

We have booked Florida for next year and I’m a bit nervous. We have learned over the years not to make a fuss and just keep walking whether it’s in the door of somewhere new, or with characters, so I think we are armed with more information and strategies on dealing with him than eve before, but you just never know how he is going to react.

This is a special holiday as it’s my husband and sister’s 40th birthday year – the reason we are doing this big tip – but also because most of our family in America are going to come and join us in Florida for a family reunion.

As our son has a blue badge, we should get a fast pass to help with the queues in the theme parks – I need to do a bit of homework on this. Queues in Florida heat won’t be much fun!

In preparation, I have Florida brochures and we have been looking through them and looking at our hotel. We will also tell our family not to make a fuss when they see us. Only one cousin has met our son, the rest of my family haven’t, so they will need to keep calm! We will look at photos of them before we go too so he knows who we will be seeing.

He has been ok on aeroplane’s so far but this is a longer flight so we just need to prepare a bit more for it. Santa is going to be bringing some fidget toys he can play with on the plane!

We have been struggling to find a group for our son to attend. We tried gymnastics and trampolining, but neither suited him due to the instructions he had to follow, or the waiting his turn.

I went to the carers centre for help. They told me about Movement Park in Whiteinch in Glasgow. They have classes for all ages and abilities and have additional need classes, so we went down to check it out.

http://www.movementpark.org.uk/

We were shown round and really liked what they offered so we booked in for Ninja sKool the following week.

Our son was great and loved it straight away. He was allocated someone to work with him one on one and it worked for a while but we are back now to him not listening and running away. We have taken a break over the holidays so may try back again soon.

We tried Judo,but there were too many instructions to follow when all he wants to do is run about. It’s something we will try again in the future.

It is such a great family place and I would highly recommend it. They are welcoming, encouraging and most importantly, inclusive.

They also organise events. We went to the Easter Egg hunt in the local park which was fantastic. They also have hill walks and do kids parties.

It got me thinking – if I can’t find anything that suits my son, do something about it. I’m sure I’m not the only parent frustrated. I am now considering setting up a group myself. It’s just an idea in my head just now, but one I may take further. Leave it with me for now!

We went away for a few days to Blackpool. We went last year by train and had a great time, so we done the same again. Saves any worry about where to park.

The train was great, our son played on the iPad a bit and ate the goodies I brought and watched the world go by out the window.

He was so excited when we got to the hotel, the boy loves a hotel!

The weather was great our whole trip which was brilliant. On our first day we wandered along the promenade and down the piers. We had rides on the waltzers and the big wheel and our son went on a few kids rides on his own. He was fantastic!

The next day we were booked into the Pleasure Beach Theme Park. He walked in really well, better than last year. He did want to go on the same rides over and over so we had to encourage him to go a walk after the ride saying we would come back.

In Nickelodeon Land there were some characters – Paw Patrol, SpongeBob and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! – and he was a bit cautious at first, but went over to most of them eventually.

He was also alot better at breakfast this year. He ate better, sat better and behaved better. He did have the iPad, but if it helps him sit and eat then I’m fine with that.

The hard part again is going home. He wants to stay in the hotel. I told him we were going on the train again and we would come back another day, and he was a bit better at leaving.

We noticed big differences in him this year. Whether it was that he was familiar with Blackpool, or he’s getting a bit older, I’m not sure which. All in all, it was a really great trip, and I can’t wait to go back!