Many months ago, my dad seen an interview with a man who had written a book about life with his autistic son. My dad said it was a great interview and as a result, he bought me the book to read. It has sat at the side of my bed for months as I just couldn’t read it. The thought of reading it made me feel sick. I guess it is in the category as me not being able to talk about my son’s diagnosis, I don’t want to read about another boy in the same position.
I have tried to read books on autism, but I find it all too hard to read. I suppose it’s still me coming to terms with the reality of the situation.
I always read at night. I have a kindle, but its not the same as a physical book and I am always at the library getting new books. With the libraries closed just now, I plucked up the courage to read the book my dad got me.
I am not going to name the book because after reading this book, I feel like mentally I am right back to years ago and I have had to pick up my medication again to calm me down. If I was the author, I would be devastated to think my book had had this effect on someone, hence me not naming the book.
In a nutshell, it is written by a father with a few chapters by the mother about their autistic son, from birth to now when he is around 19.
The part that has me sick to my stomach is when they say they know their son won’t ever have a girlfriend, will never have a job or be able to live on his own. Further along the book they talk about what will happen when they die with no other siblings or close family members to look after their son. That he will end up in a care home looked after 24/7 by strangers.
It made me look at our situation, which is very similar. We are a small family. We have no other children, and my sister has no children. So my son is the only one in the generation and all I can think about is how he will be alone.
As we all know, the autism spectrum is so vast and no 2 people are the same. Who knows what the future will hold for our son. Reading this book, if the spectrum was a physical line, this boy was at the far end and I don’t think our son is as far along as he is.
Our son is almost 8, and at the moment I am really concerned about the fact that he cannot read or write. I know this is what school is for and I also know he is very underdeveloped and not a typical 8 year old. If I look at where he was a year ago, to now, I see a big improvement, so I just need to hope the reading and writing will come in time.
In the meantime, I have learned that I will never read another book on autism.
Super Autism Mum 