When we got the diagnosis, my dad told me to tell my line manager and my Human Resources department that I am a registered carer now. But I just couldn’t. My parents are retired so I am lucky that they are available for me if I need them. I didn’t see any need to tell my work when I have them close by to support me. It’s still so difficult for me to talk about it.
Last week an email was sent out in work from our HR department detailing a new Carers Policy that was now in place. If we are a carer, we were to log on to our staff profile and tick the “Carer” box on our details page. I done that.
At my monthly meeting with my line manager we were chatting bout holidays. I let her know I was going to have an issue soon when my parents are away and I have no childcare, that I can’t leave my son with anyone. I didn’t expect to be having this conversation, and all of a sudden tears were rolling down my face! I wasn’t sobbing, but I couldn’t stop the tears flowing! I explained I was his registered carer that he has some issues and a diagnosis that I can’t talk about. I’m sure she clicked on to what is was when I said it’s developmental.
I did feel better after our chat, but I was also annoyed with myself. She didn’t need to know. Damn tears!!!
I told my work friend (who knows) what I had said, and she told me it’s ok to tell people.
I really don’t know why I can’t say it more. Embarrassed? Not wanting pity? Maybe it’s that I’ve not come to terms with it myself? Will I ever?
Super Autism Mum 